Confessions of a Southern Hustler was first published in the anthology Quarter-Passed: Collected Works From Twentysomethings Around The World (2009)

The Pope is dead, but it's still Saturday night on Peach Tree Boulevard. Downtown Athens is dressed to the nines and full of booze when we receive word. The infallible has fallen, and the air fills with a profound sense of "What now?" My dear friend and willing accomplice in most things illicit, la Chinita (as she was known in her circles of operation) is frantically phoning and consoling every Catholic she can reach as she teeters on the brink of a mojito-fueled meltdown herself. We have just come from a birthday party for the soul of Marvin Gaye at Little Kings, where DJ Mahogany spins everything from Ray Charles to Wu Tang. Bars choke with mourners tying one on for John Paul and street musicians draw showers of change from emotional drunks for a few bars of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" on banjos and harmonicas. La Chinita surrenders her phone and we retreat into the Firehouse, just another college-town dive where the bars are for dancing because the regulars show up two sheets to the wind; but tonight is something truly special. 

You can read the rest of the Gentleman’s Georgian adventure for just a dollar!